Sexual repression is a state in which a person is prevented from expressing their sexuality. This is very common in countries where the age of consent is particularly high. Sexual Repression is often associated with feelings of guilt or shame being associated with sexual impulses. What constitutes Sexual Repression is subjective and can vary greatly between cultures and moral systems.
India is a country where Sexual Repression is clearly present. No one wants to talk about Sex in a healthy manner, be it parents or teachers or anyone for that matter. Our culture and society treat Sex as a sin and according to them, Sex is a shameful act that is performed by everyone in the society but it should not be talked about in the open.
When I was a kid, I was told, not just by my parents, but also my teachers and the media, that Sex is a "BAD" thing. Obviously, no one told me this directly, since, even talking about it is shameful. I'm sure everyone, who is reading this right now, can relate to it. I'm 22 years old now and I try to keep an open mind regarding this issue. So, the way I see it now, is that Sex is just another natural activity. Nothing special about it. Everyone does it and everyone should be able to talk about it in a mature manner.
I'm going to write about about one of my life experiences. When I was in school, I had a mind set that Sex is "BAD". I didn't talk about it to anyone, even though, I had curiosity regarding the matter at an early age. It was, basically, a taboo for me. I did not have a lot of friends growing up. So, when I did make a few, we started talking about it. It was fun to talk about it since it was something we we're not supposed to talk about. Maybe it was the whole Forbidden Fruit thing that made the talk so interesting. After a while, I realized that everyone in school was talked about it, which gave me a sense of relief for now I knew that I wasn't a pervert. So, when I look back, I feel like such an idiot! Why the hell did I have that misconception in the first place? Why did I feel guilty about having sexual thoughts? It wasn't right. And the fact that I went to my friends to talk about it rather than my parents tells a lot about our society.
I don't get it. How is Sex a bad thing? IT'S NOT. I'm NOT going to say that it is nothing but a reproductive mechanism. It's waaay more than that. In cold terms, two individuals do it to satisfy their sexual desires( Don't lecture me about LOVE ). And these desires are natural and they exist because of our hormones. It's a scientific fact. But our society is not letting it's members express these feelings.
It's not just our religion / culture that tells us that Sex before marriage is a sin. Truth be told, even if one does commit this sin, god is not going to punish him / her. But in our country, the society does. This Sexual Repression is due to the fear of our society. Imagine a MTV VJ going out in public and asking college girls "Sex before marriage : Yes / No". I guarantee that cent percent girls would so "No" and maybe 20% of those girls would've had Sex already. They would lie because they wouldn't want anyone living near them to know what they really think. They'd be too scared to speak their minds. It's the pressure that would get to them. All this Sexual Repression in the name of "The great Indian culture".
Our culture tells us "Women are goddesses; respect them". It's fine. But by that logic, we shouldn't have any "impure" thoughts about them. And if we do, we feel guilty about it. This along with a number of other reasons creates a sexual frustration among our society. Due to our culture's "No Sex before marriage" thing, everyone in our society suffers, especially women. The people who could control themselves, good for them. But the people who couldn't, suffer in most cases. The people who can't control themselves, act on their feelings. Such people take either of the two paths :
When I was a kid, I was told, not just by my parents, but also my teachers and the media, that Sex is a "BAD" thing. Obviously, no one told me this directly, since, even talking about it is shameful. I'm sure everyone, who is reading this right now, can relate to it. I'm 22 years old now and I try to keep an open mind regarding this issue. So, the way I see it now, is that Sex is just another natural activity. Nothing special about it. Everyone does it and everyone should be able to talk about it in a mature manner.
I'm going to write about about one of my life experiences. When I was in school, I had a mind set that Sex is "BAD". I didn't talk about it to anyone, even though, I had curiosity regarding the matter at an early age. It was, basically, a taboo for me. I did not have a lot of friends growing up. So, when I did make a few, we started talking about it. It was fun to talk about it since it was something we we're not supposed to talk about. Maybe it was the whole Forbidden Fruit thing that made the talk so interesting. After a while, I realized that everyone in school was talked about it, which gave me a sense of relief for now I knew that I wasn't a pervert. So, when I look back, I feel like such an idiot! Why the hell did I have that misconception in the first place? Why did I feel guilty about having sexual thoughts? It wasn't right. And the fact that I went to my friends to talk about it rather than my parents tells a lot about our society.
I don't get it. How is Sex a bad thing? IT'S NOT. I'm NOT going to say that it is nothing but a reproductive mechanism. It's waaay more than that. In cold terms, two individuals do it to satisfy their sexual desires( Don't lecture me about LOVE ). And these desires are natural and they exist because of our hormones. It's a scientific fact. But our society is not letting it's members express these feelings.
It's not just our religion / culture that tells us that Sex before marriage is a sin. Truth be told, even if one does commit this sin, god is not going to punish him / her. But in our country, the society does. This Sexual Repression is due to the fear of our society. Imagine a MTV VJ going out in public and asking college girls "Sex before marriage : Yes / No". I guarantee that cent percent girls would so "No" and maybe 20% of those girls would've had Sex already. They would lie because they wouldn't want anyone living near them to know what they really think. They'd be too scared to speak their minds. It's the pressure that would get to them. All this Sexual Repression in the name of "The great Indian culture".
Our culture tells us "Women are goddesses; respect them". It's fine. But by that logic, we shouldn't have any "impure" thoughts about them. And if we do, we feel guilty about it. This along with a number of other reasons creates a sexual frustration among our society. Due to our culture's "No Sex before marriage" thing, everyone in our society suffers, especially women. The people who could control themselves, good for them. But the people who couldn't, suffer in most cases. The people who can't control themselves, act on their feelings. Such people take either of the two paths :
- They get "COMMITTED" with someone else. And they decide to have Sex before marriage because their conscience allowed them( because they were in "LOVE" ) *EYEROLL*.
- Their hormones get the better of them and they, now referring to only guys, decide to take what they want any how . I'm obviously referring to Sexual Harassment and Rape.
Taking point #2 into consideration, Sexual Repression indirectly leads to sexual harassment and rape.
One other point that I would like to make here. Imagine a group of college students, sitting in some cafe and chatting. If a guy tries to initiate a topic about Sex, not in a vulgar manner, but in mature way, for instance, "Sex before marriage" or "Having Sex with multiple partners", what would you expect a girls' reaction would be? First off, no girl would participate in the debate. They would either leave or try to change the subject. And lastly, once the guy is gone, they would say things like "Kaisa ladka hai!?", "Ladkiyon se baat karna nahi ata", "Besharam hai", etc. It's a generalization that all guys are "Kamine" and girls are "Pure". And by "pure", I mean, they are the "Bharti nari" who think that Sex is a sin they shouldn't talk about it. So, it's not just the men who are a victim of the Sexual Repression, but also the women, who have gotten their mentality altered because of our society.
Sex Education was going to be a part of our academics. I'm surprised that they were discussing whether they should include it in the CBSE syllabus or not. According to me, including it would have been the right thing to do. No second thoughts needed. As soon as they realized the need of Sex Ed in India, they should've included it. But due to the fact that most people can't even say the word out in public, the bill was not passed. Due to Sexual Repression, we are not being able to educate our younger generation about the dos and don'ts of Sex. How can this be healthy!?
There is just one industry which uses this Sexual Repression to their advantage. It's the Indian Movie Industry, i.e., Bollywood. Movies like Jism 1 & 2, Murder 1, 2, &3, Hate Story 1 &2, Ragini MMS 1 & 2, didn't have a Salman Khan or Amir Khan to save them, yet they've been huge box office hits. Can you guess the reason? These movies show erotic content on the big screen. It's something new for us since we're not used to seeing such explicit sexual content anywhere( except porn ). The Indian population is sexually frustrated so much that it loves watching such erotic movies, even though there is always an option of watching porn. The Indian audience still chooses to watch these movies because they show an Indian's ultimate fantasy - An Indian society where people are having Sex and are talking about it openly, without any hesitation. The Bollywood Industry knows that the Indian audience would watch any movie that is even remotely based on Sex.
If I had chosen not to write on this topic, I would've been a victim of Sexual Repression as well. I'm trying to overcome this Indian mentality of mine. Hence, I choose to write down my thoughts for everyone to see.
We are the next generation. We can change all this. We need to open our minds and rethink our actions and mentality. Respecting your culture is one thing, but try to be a human first. There is nothing shameful about talking about Sex or informing our younger generation about it. Having an open mind about Sex is the first step. The Indian population connects Sex to it's culture. It doesn't make any sense. Sex is not a cultural thing. We share it with the whole Human Race. Have an open mind about Sex, talk about it, express yourself and your life will be much simpler.
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